I watch Adan sleep in his swing after another exhausting meltdown. He finally took the pacifier and fell asleep when he realized once again he was faced with no other options. He needs to suck and would prefer my breasts to sleep to. I would happily do this for him except he doesn’t want to deal with the breast milk. I would give anything for an ‘on and off’ switch! Actually, I would give anything if the pacifier worked all the time. …sigh… another day that just keeps repeating this same pattern. Everyday I wish I could give him what he wants and everyday I hope he figures out something to satisfy his need. They say babies change constantly and grow out of these things and I hope and wait.
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Having a new baby is full of sounds you never noticed before. We try not to be quiet so he doesn’t get used to silence, however he wakes up to higher pitched noises. I can now hear the bird at 5am, my husbands; snoring, sneezing, laughing and tripping, women who laugh loudly, motorcycles, people screaming on the street, trash men, the guy who slams his hood every morning, the leaf blower(ok, actually i have always heard that). But my world is now full of vicious sounds that might wake my baby up! Here are just a few things I have thought about throwing in desperate times. Potato, rotten orange, canned corn, shoe, diet coke(oh wait. my sister actually threw that at a car on the freeway going 70 mph. It didn’t really work and then she was upset cause she wanted that diet coke), fork, frozen chicken breast, rocks from the yard specifically for this purpose. Of course I have never done it, but in my exhaustion…all of these have crossed my mind. Adan likes to suck. He did right away. He just wasn’t good at it yet. No, he REALLY likes to suck! He would do it 24/7 if he could. I have been researching for weeks about comfort sucking, human pacifiers and other similar situations. I don’t find much. Yes, a lot of women spend time breastfeeding and especially in growth spurts and cluster feeding. Nope this is still not the same. He wants to suck, but WITHOUT my milk getting in the way. He gets so frustrated when my milk comes in and ruins his perfectly good nap. This sometimes results in complete meltdowns were he cries for an hour and NOTHING soothes him. Eventually he gives in to the milky breasts just out of pure exhaustion. I will even walk around with lopsided breasts to try and keep him happily sucking without that pesky milk issue. When he is ready to eat, he lets me know and I switch him to the other breast. I have tried my finger and a pacifier, but he doesn’t seem to bite (or suck hehehe). He is now over 2 months old and my butt is 2 months bigger. I hope he grows out of his sucking phase soon because his need only seems to intensify. He has now started to find me in the middle of sleep to get his fix and cries miserably if he doesn’t get it. Sometimes I even see him staring at me in his bouncy with his tongue out and licking his lips. Here are just a few things that helped me get through this time with my newborn without anyone to help (especially if you are breastfeeding): 1. Accept that you may not be getting out much and allow yourself to set up a comfortable area where you can sit and relax with baby. 2. Buy a new couch that allows you to get up and down easily and since you will be on it a lot and in the house it might as well serve as something to make you feel good! I bought one from ikea with wide arms I can set things on. (computer, food, drinks) 3. set up a bowl of healthy snacks because you will be hungry and this will make life easier. 4. Netflix!! movies on-line! 5. Invest in a good breastfeeding pillow like (breastfriend) or find a flat pillow. 6. Turn the ringer on low or off. 7. Make sure you have prepared meals or easy to make meals. 8. Shower and do stretches in shower everyday or every other day. 9. Remind yourself to relax. It is ok to gain a few pounds and not be very active. It will pass and you are doing the most important job ever. Just love your baby. 10. Find places you can take baby and be able to breastfeed easily (Ikea, restaurants during non peak hours, some department stores, in my car) 11. 10 minutes outside without baby everyday to take deep breaths! 12. Find great websites for good info as well as great support friends on speed dial. (mothering.com, Kellymom.com, La Leche League). 13. Take baby outside often. Even if just for a few minutes. You both need the fresh air. 14. Buy some cute nursing tops to help make public outings easier. (www.milknursingwear.com) Time flies when you are in baby land. Actually it is pretty slow here these days except that Adan is growing fast. He is over 11 lbs. and very long. I think he is adorable and looks kinda like a “Gelfling”. It is a bit of a struggle to get out of the house these days and I am very stir crazy. I think I have even decided to join a Mother’s Group, Yikes! I will not lie, these first few months are challenging and I am hoping things get easier at 3 months. That’s what everyone keeps telling me anyway. Labor Begins  During a contraction with my husband at home While walking around IKEA the contractions started to become more noticeable and in the bathroom I saw “the show”. We closed out IKEA and continued walking at an outdoor mall to keep them going. When we arrived back home I checked my answering machine only to find a call from Kaiser about my missed induction appointment they were trying to force on me. I thought it was suppose to be the next day. I called them as a courtesy to let them know I was in labor and they tried to get me to come in and induce because I was 10 days late. This confused me because I was in labor already!! They argued with me about coming in and put a Dr. on the phone to try and talk us into it. I handed the phone to my husband Jason and he told the Dr., “that we where not coming in till the contractions are closer together and we will not be induced”. Jason told the Dr. we would come in the next morning. I tried to sleep, but it was impossible. The phone call was pretty upsetting and now I was afraid to go to the hospital because I wasn’t sure how they would treat me. By 3am the contractions started to become stronger and closer together. We decided to call our Doula and she came over sometime early Thursday morning. My contractions grew closer together from 3-4 minutes apart and I could not talk through them. We decided it was probably time to go. Walnut Creek Birth Center  Contraction in the hospital sleeping. All the other printouts were amazing! But the Midwife kept referring to this one print out and saying he was a class 2. My sister went out of the room to talk to her about how she was behaving and this helped with her giving me some space so I could feel free to labor naturally. However, every time she would come into the room my contractions would stop and space out up to 8 minutes apart! I walked the halls laboring with my team. We even walked outside and every time I had a contraction I had to lean on one of my birth team. It was a little embarrassing at first having people look at you while having contractions, but I really wanted to progress and have my baby. The contractions became even stronger and we went back to the room and the midwife sent another midwife to come and check on my dilation. I had made no progress! I was only 2 centimeters dilated. She said I was 100% effaced and scraped my membranes and stretched me to 4 or 5 centimeters. My contractions where pretty strong and I thought it was all coming along now. Hours later the evil midwife came in to check on me again and tried to talk me into being induced and the contractions stopped and then spaced out until she left the room. My husband came and laid down behind me in the bed and they started back up again immediately. Eventually I waited out her shift and she left without a word. Midwife #2 Midwife#3 I was so excited to be able to push. It was a whole new energy that came over me. I put my whole heart into it. Midwife 3 was very fond of one position on my back and told me this is what she preferred I do for awhile because of her years of experience this has been the best way for women. I did it for awhile, but I felt like I was not making progress. The midwife left the room and my labor team encouraged me and the nurse would look over occasionally and tell me I was doing really good. I thought I was!  Pushing with a smile?! I finally asked another nurse to let me try another position and she got out the bar that goes above the bed. I was excited and thought…”wow, now we might get somewhere”! It didn’t really help very much either. It was a lot of work, but not much changed. I was still happy to have tried something different. The Midwife came back and said I had been pushing for 2 hours and had not made an progress. She wanted to do a c-section. I was pretty adamant to keep pushing. I wanted to have my baby vaginally. She agreed to let me try to push to “station 2″ and if I made it they would use the vacuum to extract him. I agreed to this, because I still believed I could push him out before that happened and it was still better than a c-section. I pushed for awhile in the awful position on my back. I was starting to get tired. The midwife returned again and I could see on everyone’s face that they were also tired and had given up a little. The midwife was ready for me to quit. I begged her for a little more time and she reluctantly agreed after she made sure that the baby was not under stress by attaching another heart rate monitor to his head. I grabbed her hand and told her I WILL push out my baby and I don’t want a c-section. The midwife left and another nurse came in and I asked to try another position on my side. She was happy to oblige and this was a great position for me. I could feel myself push and I was determined now to push him out. I knew I was running out of time. Something came over me and the energy changed in the room. Everyone started to get excited. His head was getting closer and I was finally making progress! It did not take very long before he started to crown. The nurses starting calling for the midwife and getting everything ready. I was so relieved. Unfortunately the two midwives and Dr. on call were attending two emergency births. A clinic Dr. had to come in for Adan’s delivery.  I could not believe he was finally here! Adan’s Birth Adan also had meconium in the amniotic fluid so when he finally came out we all held our breath because if he did not cry they would have to take him away to make sure his lungs were cleared. Adan cried almost immediately and they put him on my belly. I was so happy and still in a state of awe and could not believe I actually gave birth to my baby. It seemed like it would never happen. I was so grateful to my husband, doula and my sister. Without any one of them I am not sure I could have remained so strong through it all. They each gave me something to get through the longest and most difficult time of my life. We made an excellent team.  My new family Midwife #3 also came to see me the next day and told me how humbled she was by me and my determination. She said she learned something from me. This was shocking, but amazing to hear. I hope the next mama that is in my situation and has her as their midwife will have more options for a natural birth and I hope she will be more encouraging and supportive. Labor began on a Wednesday and little Adan was born 44 hours later, on Friday, May 21st 2010, at exactly 3:32 pm.
Adan Gary Schmelter I love him. He is BEAUTIFUL! This is by far the hardest time for me during this pregnancy. You hear throughout the whole 9 months how babies are usually 2 weeks early or 2 weeks late and you learn to accept that and I thought it would just be my growing excitement and anticipation that I would have to deal with… oh, how I was wrong. It all started the day after my estimated due date. My doctor said, “well, you are one day late now. We should talk about induction.” My heart sank. 1 day late!! I told her I want to hold off as long as possible. She said I have 1 week and 6 days till I need to be induced. I also told her that I went back 3 years and my cycle is 31 days not 28 so the estimated due date is incorrect. Too late for that! They cannot change it. Then the phone calls started from well meaning friends and family… Some worry that he will be too big and some believe my placenta has already stopped working and some just want to call everyday to see if your “in labor”. Wow! There is a lot of pressure that I did not anticipate at all. I have this date now hanging over my head and well meaning people that hold on to old beliefs. What about the “It’s ok if he’s 2 weeks late part”! Where did that go? It literally evaporated as soon as i passed that EDD and didn’t go into labor. I believe our bodies know when it is time to have our babies and here are some very interesting statistics and articles to consider.
Here are some statistics from a study of many countries about still births at 41 weeks. Some people believe they are more frequent after 40 weeks. In France they changed the gestation period from 40 weeks to 41 weeks. http://www.lamaze.org/Research/WhenResearchisFlawed/PosttermPregnancyCochrane/tabid/173/Default.aspx Let the Baby Decide: The Case Against Inducing Labor |
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